"Dont Front" doesnt apply in Japan

We all learn lessons in life, and i just finished learning a good one.

Being the Selfless niceguy is being stupid.

Not that i can possibly be more cynical than i already am, but after having a girlfriend/female friend for nearly 5 years, on and off dating and my sacrificing japanese progress by only speaking english, it ends with her saying Im her "brother" both no longer have any romantic interest. What did it mean everytime she said "I appreciate that."

Translated, "I will call you when I am bored or need more help with English".

It completes my totally changed view of asian women, and it helps me understand why guys come over here for a year or two, fuck their brains out then leave. Or worse yet, marry one, and stay here and fuck as many other women as possible. I actually feel good because her english is american eventhough her aspiration is somewhere else. I sacrificed for her and she cant forget that. Emotionally, im not even hurt that much. And i know i helped someone help reach their dream, even if they gave very little back.

But using the word brother, and good friend, and appreciate, and grateful? The are just words she learn out of some book. I hate the politeness of japan sometimes because its so fake. People live these lives behind masks trying so hard to say the right thing. It ends up with many people living lives without purpose and passion and living lives concerned with how people view them.

When they say "when in rome, do as the romans" I understand it now.

To continue to use someone who is constantly asking if they are being used, and for that person to say constantly that they arent using you. How can you trust someone that will do that? Why not just say "You know, i think you have the wrong idea, ill just find someone else to help me"

Society here isnt about right and wrong. Saying sorry is just words. A guy who is about to be fired because of incompetence overspeeds a train that runs into an apartment building killing 100 people. Company officials make a big scene saying they are sorry. Almost 2 years later, people in Hyogo who lost family still dont know why one person would do something like that. They only have video tapes and writing letters in flowery japanese language, but no answers or vindication.

A drunk driver hits a car and kills three kids. The next day he is on tv saying he is sorry? Sorry? Sorry that you took three lives? Sorry you were drunk? Sorry you chose to drive? Sorry you sped away after hitting the car and leaving them there?

He should explain why he is sorry and what he will do to make up for it.

In japan Saying Sorry = Being Sorry.

In the west, saying sorry in itself means shit. Its what you do after.

This is a pretty long ramble today, but this whole saying sorry and not really meaning it (via action) gets people roughed up back home. Here people act like all a person can really do is say sorry.

And the drunk driver will be out of jail in less than 10 years.

I am proud that emotionally, my ex girls words didnt hurt so much. What is at issue is of course, how will i treat the asian girls i meet from now own. I feel this repressed dog inside me, i have always fought him back down.

Maybe its just time to let the dog out. Maybe snoop was right...

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