Motivation...

...where is mine?

Im getting to a point in life where i dont want to study japanese anymore. I mean, i know there is a lot i need to still learn, but it seems like now is good enough. I gotta find some motivation to study for 1kyu.

Id much rather be coaching basketball. It truely is my passion. The shoulds have turned into coulds.

I should read the japanese paper today turned into I "could" read the japanese paper. I should crack open my JLPT books turned into I could. No matter, ill just keep plugging away at the coaching and let my japanese continue to come to me naturally.

What i really need is to be in a class surrounded by people pushing to learn japanese. But most people here 1) have a girl that speaks english already 2) dont have interest in learning or 3) are learning for different reasons. But im used to it i guess. I kinda lament being around foreigners alot here mainly because our language all but separates us from our surroundings. If a group of germans go to america and only use german, they will naturally separate themselves from their environment. Here, the only real difference is that everyone is just dying for a chance to use their english, so you usually attract the people that want to practice english and repell the normal people here who are interested in other things.

Its not biggie for me anyways. I have my spots to go for my fill of being surrounded by japanese people. What would be cooler is if i have 2 or 3 fluent foreign friends that were down to hang out and demand the conversation be in japanese. But you know, its what it is.

That Shinjinsen is coming. I am excited and I am a bit worried. Im having to temper the kids arrogance and overconfidence with making my persona meaner. Im not really a mean person, but i have to do it. I have to transition from the nice friendly guy that let them play 5 on 5 all summer into the guy that is getting them ready to win. This sunday win.

Maybe the hardest thing to teach kids is that they need to listen and observe. It is what makes Chris Paul the best point guard on the planet. He can see everything, and pays attention to everything. There is an old saying that goes something like only stupid people think they know everything. It is true. There is so much to learn. So much.

so i guess it leads me back to my lack of desire to learn japanese. I guess it means i need to find a new something to pour my interest into.

I wonder what it will turn out to be.