The kid.

I coach a kid that reminds me of how i would have been if didnt have a strong father.

Dealing with my dad is difficult, granted. but growing up with that helped me understand how to be a man. See, a real man can use someone to lean on at times, but he doesnt need someone to lean on all the time. A man can make his decisions and live with them. He can be content with the idea that he can make his own choices, and the people around him can suck lemons if they dont agree.

The kid is blessed with raw talent. He makes incredible plays. But he wants attention so much that he makes plays based on that and not solid basketball decision making. The only way to deal with it is tough love. I know that i am not the poster child(man) for tough love. I am generally mild tempered if not jovial with kids. I disipline kids from time to time outside of basketball practice, but never in a loud, repremanding tone.

The basketball situation is different. I sense myself changing into a real coach. I use strategy against other coaches, in motivating my players and even in motivating myself. I used the whole summer to develop talent, handling, shooting. In our first "exhibition" game, we played the champs from last year and got beat up pretty good. My best player had his finger broken (goodness knows how...but knowing how some other coaches feel about being beaten by a black coach, i can imagine), another twisted an ankle in a 16 min, 2 quarter game. I certainly understand the intensity, dont get me wrong. But on the middle school level, the hard fouls was a bit more than i expected first game of the season. Nevertheless, i deliberately did little game prep for this game. I only had the returning starters practice as normal without implementing any strategy before or during the game. I made sure that no one saw me call out one single play.

Im good at basketball strategy. Mainly because i teach my kids to think on the court so they can solve problems together on the court. That is where the basketball around me is failing. The kids are obeying the coaches direct orders. So its basically get it to the big man or jack up a 3. There are times for that, but i am teaching kids how to beat someone off the dribble. I am teaching kids to play in high school. How to get into the paint and make split second decisions. How to read your man by his feet and back posture. How to see the whole court. So yes, we did take some lumps in not preparing as hard as we could for the seeding games. now comes the games that matter. On Oct 17, we will be ready.

The real problem is the me attitude. I am certain that american coaches deal with this. but in america, we also know to ride a hot hand. We know that if someone is hot and we take a shot and miss, it could get you yanked. I am in the process of teaching that now. It isnt that only one person wins. The whole team wins. So if one guy gets 47 pts and the offense is working properly, then there is a chance that someone has 23 assists. There were 23 good screens set for the one player. But when players have a me first attitude, they only see when the crowd is clapping for them and not the team.

So back to the kid. He is in a tough situation because, well, its not much unlike inner city black kids living with just one parent. quite similar actually. But as the youngest, he is attention starved and it makes for an unruly kid at times. He can be a happy and jovial as the next kid one day and barely say a word the next. He believes the weight of the world is on his shoulders, and i can identify with it. He is teaching me. There are times i get so mad at him i cant see straight, and times when i cant help but laugh. But i need to teach him life lessons; lessons that i learned.

That you are your own P.R. agent. That you dont have to be best friends with people to work together. That we should always remain open minded. That we should be modest at times. And most importantly, we must put our best foot forward when we are engaged in an endeavor.

I am not afraid to bench any player on the team for not doing what i say. And i feel secure enough in my position to not suffer any serious flack for it. But in order to reach our goal this year, we need everyone to get on the same page.

I need to make sure that happens in the next two weeks.

And i love doing it with all of my heart.