What id like for Christmas.

Id like my mother's stuffing and sweet potato pie.
Id like to see Barry Sanders playing football again.
Id like to hear my mother cooking Christmas dinner early in the morning.
Id like to get a Christmas present from someone in my family.
Id like all the troops in the Middle east to come home.
Id like to feel love from my family.
Id like to be in naive love again.
Id like to see the NBA go back to calling travelling and carrying again.
Id like to see my mother sitting on the coach in her jogging suit drinking egg nog.
Id like to get presents without feeling like i owe anyone.
Id like someone to know what I want or need for a present.
Id like to cuddle by the fireplace.
Id like my gifts to be appreciated for thoughtfulness and not price.
Id like to forget having my heart broken.
Id like every child in the world to know happiness for just a day.
Id like my family to fix the rifts that time and incident have caused.
Id like to spend a lot of time with my brother.

Id like to have a place to call "home".

Its interesting when you dont have a place like that anymore. No place to call home. It changes you. It makes you hard. It makes you put up with less garbage from family. I miss home.

Learning to live without "home" has been the challenge of my life. Its like an uprooted plant floating in the sea. you have the roots to plant yourself into good soil, but the soil that you were planted in to grow in the beginning is no where to be found. as a plant, you have to adapt to floating in the currents of the world, or die.

I have to forget Thankgiving and I have to forget Christmas. Forget what they were. What they meant to me. How much i loved them.

I am getting closer to that, yet everytime around this time of year, i cant help but remember how good it felt being at Lacksbur Terrace and Coach House Dr. on those special days.

Dreams pass in time. Just a little bit longer and i will forget. I try hard everyday to remember how much i loved them less, and forget how good i felt on those days more.

Or continue to wait for a love that will remind me all over again.