The last thing I want.

Not that i expect to die soon, but there are some points I want to make about the people that give eulogies at my funeral (and yes we all will have one).

If you cant send me a letter or email within a year or 2's time, dont stand up in front of people and front like we were close. It takes all of 80 cents to mail a letter to japan from america. I know who has taken the time to send me letters and/or cards and it is a surprisingly small number.

I dont want people going crazy, crying, carrying on and such when they couldnt take 1 minute a year and send me a birthday or christmas card. Now there are certainly people exempt from this because they were caring enough to send me cards. I appreciate them for that. But i cant stand the idea of people that havent contacted me in months or years to be at my funeral crying like we talked everyday.

Dont front. I remember during the 80s that was a popular saying. Dont pretend to be something you arent. Stop frontin. Frontin would be people that cant bother to ask for my address in japan to send a christmas card crying and going crazy like they cared. Thats bunk. Seriously. People show what they believe and think by what they DO and not what they SAY. Talk is cheap(See Rush Limbaugh). People that believe in Christianty for real, do what they read. People that front are asking for forgiveness everyday because they continue to do what they know they shouldnt.

I hope when im laying in my casket (or on a prye before being creamated which i prefer) someone reads this.

I have seen so many contradictions. Too many to name. Im not even trying to pretend im perfect, because i am far from it. But looking around me, its the same contradictions over and over. People love to use the word "Love", but how can you know you love someone that you knew less than a year? Why is it that love must come in a certain package, i.e. handsome, tall, relatively wealthy, and whatnot? Why is it that "Love" so often lasts for about 10 years or less then results in a divorce? Why is it "Love" until someone gets laid off.

I miss substance. The age when everything wasnt made of plastic. Plastic is the best example of how the human being has "evolved". It is a compound originating from oil, something of substance, and created into, everything. Computer shells, shirts, houses, whatever. We as humans have found extravegant, ornate ways of taking something of actual value and filling stores with a cheap derivative of it. Wal mart, a store full of chinese made plastic (more or less). The point of my rant is, how long does a plastic...anything last? We buy it, use it until it breaks, then chuck it.

As humans, we have become that kind of species. The emphasis isnt on value anymore. Its on appearence and convienience. We dont want to pay people a good solid wage to make the things we need to live. We dont even care about those people or their living conditions. We only want the convienence of a low price and the appereance/color we choose.

So it is of no surprise that i dont want a bunch of crying and such at a funeral full of people that i havent communicated with in more than 5 years. A room full of people who never considered visiting me overseas (props to my sisters and brother for showing the desire yet constricted by funds). Im here right now. Checking my email everyday. Opening my mailbox everyday. Send me a couple letters or emails, then we can chat a little on the phone. I hate phone calls out of the blue.

You want to try, go old school and send me a letter(email). Sit down, take 10 minutes and devote it to what you want to say to me. You dont have time to do that, you dont have time for me.

And Im gone.