14 minutes until class.

I find myself wavering back and forth on where i want to take my career. I see the corporate world, knowing it is there and knowing if i give it 10 years, i could be making six figures. But i also know that it will change me.

Making money is important. But i feel that it is best to do something that helps people and make money in the process. Not like i feel like i am jesus in my school, but the asian stereotypes of black people bother me quite a bit. Even my rap career has be tempered a bit by my like of desire to propetuate common stereotypes held my asians.

You can see the teeter totter. sometimes i feel the pressing urge to find my career five years from now, and other times i see that speaking solid japanese as a black person in itself offers opportunity. This is one of those things that i will have to set a date and come to terms with. I am glad that the jlpt will be offered more often. Now i can fail it twice and year and not just once. ;-)

What i do enjoy is the fact that the kids of Kasuya have the chance to see something that contradicts everything they see on tv when they see Bobby goofing off. They see a black person who isnt a hustler or a clown. Just a normal intelligent black guy. Its funny how quickly the kids take to it and yet i still have trouble befriending older adults. I guess the adult part of society is so tightly knit or so predetermined, that there is no room for a foreigner in most adult peoples lives.

I feel sorry for people who expect everyday to be like yesterday and look forward to retirement.

I have always had this burning desire to actually LIVE my life. Not just by making money, but by making it doing something that is fun, time-worthy, beneficial to many people, and will be remembered for its creativity and usefulness.

I guess i cant shake these idealistic principles that i grew up having. Of course if i didnt watch my wonderful mother die as such a young age, i would probably spend more time thinking of the future than the present. But looking at the present and seeing so many people in the rat race so unhappy with their lives using their salaries and what they can buy as their main means of validating their existance, i fear that is as bad as being homeless.

People will remember Abraham Lincoln and Harriet Tubman long after the death of Warren Buffet and who ever the richest oil man is in the middle east, unless of course they turn over their vast fortunes for the benefit of all people.

Oh, time to go the class.